Thursday, March 22, 2007
I don't understand the sequence of neural firings in some people's brains. Today I walked into the bathroom at Starbucks and had to wait as someone was already positioned in front of the urinal can. (For the record it was not one of those small Starbucks bathrooms you're supposed to lock, that would have been awkward.) I leaned nonchalantly against the wall, practicing the virtue of patience in the face of discomfort. Then the dude in front of me did something totally whack.
I heard him flush the toilet and so I prepared to assume my rightful place, but he continued to stand there in the relief position for at least ten more seconds. Could it be possible that he had flushed before finishing? My fears were realized when I finally made my approach(after he left) and found the water to be a color that water is not, unless it contains additives (by that I mean yellow).
Why in the heck would he do that? What is the point of flushing if you're planning on adding more to the pot? Did he just get bored and think watching the swirling water retreat would pass the time? I believe this man may have a disease--one I will call premature flushulation. I believe his brain tells him that it is time to flush before that time has actually arrived. There is no cure for this disease, but there is help. If you or someone you know struggles with premature flushulation, please contact Ryan Lee for a free kit on helping you cope.